My Ph.D. Classroom and Epistemology
I was under impression that being in the women's movement since 35 years would be quite a lot of learning to put into analysis. I thought my activism, narratives from my contemporary (range from 75 yrs old to 16yrs old ) women's lives and qualitative data is quite a lot substance to enter into research field. I was under assumption that it proves my social activism and I deliver lectures in front of social work degree students,so I am social worker, as I am writing social analysis then I am sociologist, I never hesitate to say that I am feminist means I am feminist ( I can go with this list) but the scenario is totally different even if Mahatma Gandhi wants to be called Gandhian he would have to take a degree of Gandhian studies first, I realized.
My classroom was within 4 walls with 4 heads and one teacher, aroma of arrogance, invisible hierarchy, maintained modernity of 80's and structures at each step of guru shishya-- techer student's syndromewas full in it. My teacher yet was using language of diversity, plurality, non hierarchy and postmodernism. I could feel that my classroom was attended by invisible souls of Plato, kant, Marx, Derida, Simone, Verginia Wolf but no options for Sandra Harding and Donna Harraway as they are alive and my teacher also do not have that much closeness to ask them to join on Skype so they were absent in classroom.
I realized that as there was no room for my social activism and previous discipline of Marathi literature in my class. Obviously person like me and Nagamma were vernacular students and totally from different linguistics background we were not in position to have aroma of arrogance. Till that I was under impression that my language has given so good , noble writers to the country, suddenly my pride goes down. I can use measures by Noam Chomsky to poet like Grace or play write like Vijay Tendulkar or Nemade a novel writer. But my teacher is from psychology.. She thinks that her subject is more closure to the philosophy of science other than poor literature and poorest vernacular literature. My teacher smiles at me, her eyes tell me that prove yourself either as academician or social activists from certain discipline, she also gives me challenge to prove at least my knowledge about psychology beyond Fried. And suddenly I realize that my epistemology is just around my local world. Unless these writers should not be recognized for their work worldwide or can't be proved by critiques worldwide or could not be framed in theories constructed to deconstruct how I can prove my eligibility in class. My BA degree comes to support me. I had psychology one of the major subjects. But it did not tell me that beyond Sigmund Fried because my teacher was charmed with his theories. I am on the way of library from classroom to understand meaning of ontology, empiricism etc. I don't know my synopsis will be fit into these theories of stand points or theories of post-postmodernism may pock the nose through one research panelist. I am just reading and reading I could not trans-pass that aroma of arrogance of epistemology I can understand transgender other than tans-pass, what I could do just embodied all the theories into me.. It's very difficult to prove my stand point as OBC feminist in the classroom due to lack of western and eastern divine philosophical knowledge. I know my philosophy is based on Buddha, Charvaka,Kabeer, Meera, Tukaram, Mukta, Phule, Ambedkar, Tarabai Shinde etc. Then I found that in west I can rely upon Marx , Engels, Roza and Clara, Simone DE Beauvoir oh yes Alice Walker, Angela Davis-- Wow! .. now slowly I am getting confidence that I also can prove my stand point theory by speaking differently than other feminists. My teacher might be relaxed that at least something I will write down .. She already has decided how much credit should be given to me because she knows that in my post graduate degree I was not a psychology student and neither I had a degree of philosophy so how I could claim epistemology. I am wondering whether I should do comparative research now on the truth seeking by Phule and his contemporary Engels in Europe. Engels has written "The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State and Phule has written in his Gulamgiri about origin of the caste system, intellectual property rights in Hindu religion". I think it is high time to show that the epistemology is not class specific or classroom specific...Suddenly I heard that Donna Haraway was telling me about 'Objectivity' and Kant was smiling at me was sitting on the chair of absolute knowledge. My teacher was saying that as feminist you have to unmask them.... Aroma of arrogance was chasing me.
Lata P.M.
Niruti
I was under impression that being in the women's movement since 35 years would be quite a lot of learning to put into analysis. I thought my activism, narratives from my contemporary (range from 75 yrs old to 16yrs old ) women's lives and qualitative data is quite a lot substance to enter into research field. I was under assumption that it proves my social activism and I deliver lectures in front of social work degree students,so I am social worker, as I am writing social analysis then I am sociologist, I never hesitate to say that I am feminist means I am feminist ( I can go with this list) but the scenario is totally different even if Mahatma Gandhi wants to be called Gandhian he would have to take a degree of Gandhian studies first, I realized.
My classroom was within 4 walls with 4 heads and one teacher, aroma of arrogance, invisible hierarchy, maintained modernity of 80's and structures at each step of guru shishya-- techer student's syndromewas full in it. My teacher yet was using language of diversity, plurality, non hierarchy and postmodernism. I could feel that my classroom was attended by invisible souls of Plato, kant, Marx, Derida, Simone, Verginia Wolf but no options for Sandra Harding and Donna Harraway as they are alive and my teacher also do not have that much closeness to ask them to join on Skype so they were absent in classroom.
I realized that as there was no room for my social activism and previous discipline of Marathi literature in my class. Obviously person like me and Nagamma were vernacular students and totally from different linguistics background we were not in position to have aroma of arrogance. Till that I was under impression that my language has given so good , noble writers to the country, suddenly my pride goes down. I can use measures by Noam Chomsky to poet like Grace or play write like Vijay Tendulkar or Nemade a novel writer. But my teacher is from psychology.. She thinks that her subject is more closure to the philosophy of science other than poor literature and poorest vernacular literature. My teacher smiles at me, her eyes tell me that prove yourself either as academician or social activists from certain discipline, she also gives me challenge to prove at least my knowledge about psychology beyond Fried. And suddenly I realize that my epistemology is just around my local world. Unless these writers should not be recognized for their work worldwide or can't be proved by critiques worldwide or could not be framed in theories constructed to deconstruct how I can prove my eligibility in class. My BA degree comes to support me. I had psychology one of the major subjects. But it did not tell me that beyond Sigmund Fried because my teacher was charmed with his theories. I am on the way of library from classroom to understand meaning of ontology, empiricism etc. I don't know my synopsis will be fit into these theories of stand points or theories of post-postmodernism may pock the nose through one research panelist. I am just reading and reading I could not trans-pass that aroma of arrogance of epistemology I can understand transgender other than tans-pass, what I could do just embodied all the theories into me.. It's very difficult to prove my stand point as OBC feminist in the classroom due to lack of western and eastern divine philosophical knowledge. I know my philosophy is based on Buddha, Charvaka,Kabeer, Meera, Tukaram, Mukta, Phule, Ambedkar, Tarabai Shinde etc. Then I found that in west I can rely upon Marx , Engels, Roza and Clara, Simone DE Beauvoir oh yes Alice Walker, Angela Davis-- Wow! .. now slowly I am getting confidence that I also can prove my stand point theory by speaking differently than other feminists. My teacher might be relaxed that at least something I will write down .. She already has decided how much credit should be given to me because she knows that in my post graduate degree I was not a psychology student and neither I had a degree of philosophy so how I could claim epistemology. I am wondering whether I should do comparative research now on the truth seeking by Phule and his contemporary Engels in Europe. Engels has written "The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State and Phule has written in his Gulamgiri about origin of the caste system, intellectual property rights in Hindu religion". I think it is high time to show that the epistemology is not class specific or classroom specific...Suddenly I heard that Donna Haraway was telling me about 'Objectivity' and Kant was smiling at me was sitting on the chair of absolute knowledge. My teacher was saying that as feminist you have to unmask them.... Aroma of arrogance was chasing me.
Lata P.M.
Niruti
